Director: Zack Snyder
Writer(s): David Hayter and Alex Tse

Cast:

Jackie Earle Haley – Rorschach
Patrick Wilson –Nite Owl II
Malin Akerman – Silk Spectre II
Billy Crudup – Dr. Manhattan
Matthew Goode – Ozymandias
Jeffrey Dean Morgan – The Comedian
Carla Gugino – Silk Spectre

Preamble:
Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ deservedly famous comic book series is finally adapted in largely successful manner by ’300′ director Zach Snyder.

Movie Watchmen

Comic Watchmen

The Meat:
*First things first. Please do not refer to ‘The Watchmen’ source material as a graphic novel. It was not originally released as a graphic novel – it was released as a comic book limited series. People just call it a graphic novel to make it sound more respectable. If you haven’t noticed yet, comic books don’t need to beg to be put on equal standing with ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ and ‘Max Payne.’ /rant

‘The Watchmen’ tells the story of a group of superheroes called the Minutemen, disbanded and made illegal by Richard Nixon (now into his third term and navigating the United States towards certain nuclear destruction), until the murder of one of their own forces them back together. Rorshach’s theory is that someone is trying to eliminate the entire group, and slowly but surely the other members of the group come to agree with him. After all, the only people who know the secret identities of all the members of the group are the other living members. The Doomsday Clock counts down to nuclear destruction as the heroes try to find out who’s killing them. Its minute hand moves forward as the Soviet/U.S. conflicts escalate, and mutual annihilation seems inevitable. In this regard, the “Minutemen” are not only the original, disbanded superheroes who served as watchmen over our fates, but their modern, scientific counterparts.

Visually the film is stunning, as expected. Snyder’s slow motion works here, he’s got a smart sense of action and conveys speed extremely well (Peter Berg shares the same strength). With the intended ridiculousness of the costumes here (the original heroes are all 1940s-era and they look the part) this could have easily been disastrous. Instead Snyder makes it work by embracing it and simply letting us accept that it all makes sense in its own context. He also patiently allows relationships to develop. The romantic link between Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre II works in their shared loneliness, even if the actual cause of their loneliness is drastically different. Rorshach’s views on the citizens he fights for are also preserved. His absolute contempt for general humanity serves as a dramatic counterpoint to Dr. Manhattan’s relative indifference to general humanity. Rorshach hates us because he’s spent so much time looking in the gutters. Dr. Manhattan finds us meaningless because he’s spent so much time looking past us. In the end they’re both right about one thing, human nature doesn’t change. More on that later.

For the most part, Snyder is extremely faithful to the original work. He smartly pares down the huge source material, eliminating periphery plots which were fine for fleshing out the affected city of the written material but would have made the film version far too long. He instead focuses on the core superheroes and they all feel like real people, even The Comedian. By cutting some of the side characters, however, he does lose the feeling of remembering the normal people affected by the actions of those above them. In ‘The Watchmen’ this is key, because the actions of detached government and the actions of detached superheroes are not only intertwined, at times they’re the same thing. The ordinary people asking “who watches the watchmen” are the moral sounding board of the story, and at issue is whether or not the film version successfully conveys their place in the message.

In addition, there is a notable departure in the ending, which must be addressed without (hopefully) spoiling the film’s ending. This assumes you’ve read the comic book, or are not worried about reading the book’s ending. Originally, the villain releases a huge, inter-dimensional squid, which explodes and destroys New York City. While this may sound ridiculous to some — and it’s valid to point out that this might not work on a big screen — it’s important to consider the crucial need for something this outlandish. For the plan, nothing except a completely alien concept would have worked. Why? Because, as was mentioned earlier, the crux of ‘The Watchmen’ is the fact that human nature does not change. The Comedian is strong as an ox, but he’s also sadistic. The original Silk Spectre is an alcoholic whore. Rorshach is.. well he’s nuts. Nixon and the other politicians and military figures are selfish, competitive to the point of being murderous. In other words, most of the powerful figures in the film have shown no moral growth from their increased power.

The key then, is that in order to bring about world peace, our super-villain needs to unleash the inter-dimensional squid — because it’s a villain that everyone on Earth can hate and fear without reservation. The world rushes headfirst into a new global union, and only something extreme and absurd could match the absurd request to create peace on Earth. The Comedian was right, the mission itself is one big joke, because humans have killed each other since they’ve existed. The squid looks nothing like anyone on Earth. Its arrival is not the blame of any one nation. It’s impossible to understand. It gives all of humanity something to fight against, together. Peace comes via united hatred, save for the “kook file” of course. In Snyder’s version, while the ending is well done and well-written, the value of the original ending is nearly entirely lost. It turns, instead, into a “fear of God” conclusion (foreshadowed by early statements by one of Dr. Manhattan’s co-workers), and the condemnation of basic human nature is lost in the translation.. Could Snyder have changed the ending and still kept the original message?

It also must be mentioned that not since ‘Daredevil’ has a film’s music been so horribly chosen. This is a notable feat, since outside of the movie, I actually like all of the songs that were used. Still, stacking ‘All Along the Watchtower’, ‘Times They Are A’Changin’, ‘Hello Darkness My Old Friend’ and a number of other songs is absolutely overkill where an actual score would have been better. At some point it starts to feel like one is listening to “Now That’s What I Call Music: 1962-1982”.

Overall this is a great adaptation. You feel for the superheroes, confused by a villain who’s simply one step ahead of them for an entire story. It’s not a battle they can win, and the heroic nature is the fact that as Rorshach says, they “never compromise, even in the face of Armageddon.” The special effects are composited extremely well, and Snyder’s visualization of superhero action is perhaps only matched by X-2. With just a couple of tweaks it could have been a perfect adaptation, let’s hope those needs are addressed on what should be a monstrous Blu-Ray release.

Movie – 8/10

‘The Watchmen’ Trailer:

Review by Steve Broome
sbroome at coalminds dot com

Director: Rian Johnson
Writer(s): Rian Johnson

Cast:
Rachel Weisz – Penelope Stamp
Adrien Brody – Bloom
Mark Ruffalo – Stephen
Rinko Kikuchi – Bang Bang
Robbie Coltrane – The Curator
Maximilian Schell – Diamond Dog

Preamble:
In the long line of confidence game movies, it’s hard to say what separates the good from the great. The viewer’s belief (or lack thereof), in the hook of whatever scam anchors the tale is completely subjective even beyond the norm of movie enjoyment.  In ‘The Brothers Bloom’, however, the most enjoyment comes not from the particular details of the crimes, but in enjoyable character development presented by a very likeable cast.

The Main cast of The Brothers Bloom

Plot Points:
Two brothers, lifelong con men, team up for “one last job” with varying degrees of success.

The Meat:
As the brothers Bloom finish their supposed last heist, the younger Bloom laments to his big brother regarding a lifetime full of more pretending than living. Never having experienced anything significantly real and occupying his days and thoughts with characters he’s played has left him devoid of meaningful memories.  As a result he walks away, retiring from the life he’s known for so long to pursue a peaceful, isolated existence.  Unfortunately he’s given this same speech and walked away many times before, it becoming a well rehearsed exchange between the two at this point.  So when his elder brother tracks him down some time later (well rested and at ease but clearly bored), he quickly submits to Stephen’s new ploy to bilk a rich lonely woman out of her fortune.  He suspects all along that his brother is trying to scam him into falling for this woman (she of the impossibly cute name and quirks), but Stephen assures him it’s not the case.  Begrudgingly he teams up with Stephen for yet another “final” job.

Despite his best attempts to stay distant, he does of course fall for Penelope.  ‘The “bloom” in The Brothers Bloom’ becomes a verb as both Stephen and his younger brother – for so long content to act out childish fantasies in lieu of facing a reality they knew to be harsh – experience their long delayed entry into adulthood.  Stunted adolescence is ended in turns by tragedy and joy.  As Diamond Dog (their former guardian) points out, some people are destined to bloom and fade quickly, some are not.  The brothers find out which they are, and the divergent nature of their paths becomes obvious.  They love each other, but the languages they speak in trying to convince each other of the best courses of action are completely different.  Stephen can’t convince his brother to live more, and Stephen can’t be convinced that there’s such a thing as living too much.  This believable sibling disagreement holds things together for an extremely taut first act.

Adrien Brody’s performance is especially noteworthy. He turns what could have been (and usually is - in American movies) a whiny, annoying character into a sympathetic every man. He’s not especially good at fighting, he doesn’t have all the brains, and he’s not especially good at planning.  He’s also clearly afraid of commitment despite not having a lot going for him without it.  But he’s loyal, he sees things through, and he wants life to be better.  His cautiousness in reaching for the things that might provide that improved life is where the movie’s heart lies, and where it mostly keeps its focus.

Bang Bang

Penelope’s habit of collecting other people’s solitary habits is fun, and Weisz pulls it off as usual with her nice combination of charm and physical presence.  Once the scam on Peneleope begins, though, the pacing suffers a bit.   There is an odd transition from the second to third act, as “Oh, no! the gang is in danger” – a standard segment of the caper flick – is introduced.   Things turning serious is handled well enough, but the emotional connection one has to the characters is not as strong as Rian Johnson would have intended. Most of the characters here felt like quirky theater performers, a perfectly fine trait for entertainment value, but perhaps too cute in their speech and daily lives (especially for Rufallo’s character) for true drama. It’s probably the nature of these drama/comedy hybrids, but the depth of emotion isn’t quite where it could have been.

Further, the gang’s final con is fairly well done, but not especially fascinating.   Some of this is due to the “just wait till a character at the end explains everything” approach one takes towards most con man films.  A larger issue however is the “afterthought” nature of the villain.  It’s tough in this kind of movie when the villain enters so late, and for the first half of the running time the general law enforcement agencies of the world are the actual villains. Once they are replaced by Diamond Dog, Rian Johnson has to force in back story AND a new angle for this villain to antagonize the brothers, and it jars the film from its leisurely stroll. Since the con game is just a back drop for character development, the climax being tied into their con provides a conclusion to events that is not quite the sum of the movie’s parts.

At its best, The Brothers Bloom is a great combination of strong direction, sight gags (in a wall with a painted gun, a door slams shut and sounds like a gun blast, Boom Boom’s silent performance etc.), and charisma.  They are frequent enough to make the lulls in the 2nd act  and the transition problems to the third act easier to accept, although they prevent it from being an A+ entry into the genre.   You do get to see Rachel Weisz’ ass which is a big bonus.   If you don’t manage to see it in theaters it’ll make a very good rental.

Movie – 7/10

‘The Brothers Bloom’ Trailer:

Review by Steve Broome
sbroome at coalminds dot com

Director: Richard Kelly
Writer(s): Richard Kelly

Cast:
Duane Johnson – Boxer Santaros
Seann William Scott –  Roland Taverner
Sarah Michelle Gellar – Krysta Now
Justin Timberlake – Pilot Abilene
Miranda Richardson – Nana Mae Frost

Preamble:
Richard Kelly turns in a pretty awful movie, which has a lot more in common with Donnie Darko than the fans of that train wreck will care to admit.

Plot Points:
Damn if I can sum this ridiculous plot up – but the basics are that Los Angeles was nuked in 2005, which brought about WW3 (plot point #1). In 2008, the current year of the film (despite the fact that it’s referred to as the future) America re-institutes the draft and takes control of all internet access and interstate travel.

The Meat:
To establish the problems with ‘Southland Tales’ more clearly it really is necessary to look at Richard Kelly’s debut effort, ‘Donnie Darko’. The film became a cult smash that allowed people to feel sophisticated for talking about how they liked a movie with a complicated plot, and made for good discussion as people talked about the ‘details’ in the story. As far as I can tell, this and ‘Boondock Saints’ occupy their own genre in this regard. We’ll call it the ‘movies that aren’t really very good but you can have a cool conversation at a college party if you say you like it a lot’ genre. I don’t have an acronym for this genre yet. The real problem, however, is that most people didn’t really understand the plot of ‘Donnie Darko’ until they researched it online. In addition, the movie never felt like the 1980’s period it supposedly inhabited.  The exceptions were a scene maybe where kids are hopping out of the back of a bus backed by an 80’s track – or maybe when the screen flashed the actual date to remind you. It was never the brilliant sci-fi it claimed to be, it never had the fascinating absurdity it wanted you to think it did, and frankly the plot didn’t make a lick of sense. It simply had tone, and that didn’t make up for the lousy storytelling. I generally ask that viewers not judge a work by the previous works of a creator, but in this case the pattern is so clear as to be integral to viewing the new work.

If you liked ‘Donnie Darko’, well then ‘Southland Tales’ is probably the movie for you. It intends to be absurdist satire, set in the current day to show us that our own reality is in fact absurdist satire of the things our nation claims to represent (so far so good). Morally corrupt censors stifle freedoms in the name of protecting us from ourselves. Liberal, angry, Marxists are petty, overdramatic, misinformed, and misdirected as they try to disrupt the election of the Republican Eliot/ Frost Presidential campaign (plot point #2).They’re attempting to disrupt the campaign by doing a frame-up of a movie star (Duane Johnson) who happens to be married to the daughter of the VP candidate (plot point #3). The movie star wakes up with amnesia and soon finds himself living with an ambitious porn star (Sarah Michelle Gellar), but despite her role in the frame-up she falls in whore-love with this alter ego of his (plot point #4). This causes an inane love triangle between him, his wife, and the girl he stayed with for about 3 days after waking up with no memories (plot point #3.5). There are several other side routes and narrative twists that would take a number of months to summarize, and aren’t nearly entertaining enough to care about. The primary remaining one, however, focuses on a rift in space-time which allows the third act to be realized. Said rift also brings in the elements of dual soul existence (plot point #247), and allows for a “natural” externalization of internal thought processes in the movie’s climax.

Despite all this, boredom is the main problem with this movie, which somehow manages to be chock full of ideas, revelations, and supposed ‘wow’ moments but does absolutely nothing to keep you from checking your watch repeatedly. “Less than the sum of its parts” is an understatement, as somehow Kelly threw eggs, flour, and sugar into a bowl and made a Studebaker. Duane Johnson and Seann William Scott are good, but I didn’t care about anyone’s characters including theirs. At least in satires that embrace their ridiculousness, the characters can become lovable. When you take yourself seriously while delivering dialogue that sounds lifted from the Naked Gun series, we have a mess with no connecting dots. The dialogue isn’t just marred by content though, because delivery is a huge problem as well. For some reason, almost every character takes an eternity saying things that really don’t have much weight. Characters don’t have conversations as much as they act out caricatures from political cartoons. So as a bonus to watching ‘Southland Tales’ and ‘V for Vendetta’ (which was at least entertaining), now we know why political cartoons are usually only one panel long. This was clearly a directorial decision. It could be argued for as a bold technique designed to make a punch-line with each exchange, but that only works if the jokes are funny (and they sometimes are, like when the liberals overuse the term fascist), the viewpoint is fresh, or the observations are astute. This flick might have been hilarious if it was released just as the Patriot Act was enacted, for example.

The best part of the movie is the score – done by Moby – which attempts to weave a thread through the entire 2 and a half hour running time. The Star Spangled Banner re-imagining towards the end is especially well done, and there are a few imaginative shots that stand out from what tended to be surprisingly boring visuals.

Rent Southland Tales if you want to see a few cool ideas and don’t mind sitting through a train wreck, or if you want to be able to say you liked something most people won’t. Otherwise avoid at all costs.

/B-list Star constellation
/Insignificant nose-thumbing.

Movie – 3/10
DVD – 4/10

Southland Tales Trailer: